a gathering light.

"Words fail me sometimes. I have read most every one in the Webster's International Dictionary of the English Language, but I still have trouble making them come when I want them to.

Right now I want a word that describes the feeling you get - a cold, sick feeling deep down inside - when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, that there will now be a before and after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again be quite the same person you were.

I imagine it's the feeling Eve had as she bit into the apple. Or Hamlet when he saw his father's ghost. Or Jesus as a boy, right after someone sat him down and told him his pa wasn't a capenter after all.

What is the word for that feeling? For knowledge and fear and loss all mixed together? Frisdom? Dreadnaciousness? Malbominance?"

-Adapted from A Gathering Light

The right feeling I want now, though, I hadn't read the every one in the dictionary. -.- But I do have that dictionary at home. Probably my restricted knowledge on words? I just know, it describes what I feel now. When can I stop sinking deeper? It started and it can't stop, both of you...

Enough of that. *Optimistic* YAYYY! I've just started on A Gathering Light. The descriptions it give are already more than abundant to make you imagine the whole scene. The bad thing is that *critism* there are too many characters to remember. ROAR. But still can manage. Go grab that book! xD

And I'm reading with the dictionary is my other hand alright. xD Lots of words I learnt today. Croquet, lawn, porch, birches, shucking and many more.

Wonder when am I going to start on Little Dorrit. It looks thick. Woah. Probably never. xD NO LUHHH! Why will I spend money on a book that I will not read?

Ok. I'm done with the updates todayyyyyy!